Articles

In this section, find articles that are not really reviews.

Half Hearted: The Thesis

Sorry about Crab Town's little ten day break there. We were too absorbed in reading the comments section of a previous article to put anything else up. Luckily, we now have another stellar Half Hearted for you. In this one Maitland takes on France and passion. Who will win? Find out inside!




Olympic Geometry

It’s kinda funny, but Crab Town didn’t even realize that the Olympics were going on in the city in which our magazine is based until we got this article from some guy in Brazil. Go figure! Apparently some people are bummed out about the whole thing and some people love it. Do you agree with Dock or with some other guy? We can’t decide, as we are misinformed. If you have an opinion, type it out in all caps with an exclamation point in the comments section. Thanks.

Half Hearted: Evil Girls

“I'll level with you. The 'events' of the last little while have resulted in no romance. I've gotten tired of randomly dating, because I like to operate one way: find one subject for my romantic thrust and single-mindedly focus on them. With past thrustees long gone, and no reasonable future-thrust subjects in the horizon, I'm kind of stuck. So I've been randomly embarrassing myself by flirting with whoever catches my booze-addled mind at the time.” ...

I'm probably better off that JD Salinger went into seclusion

No one comes to this site to stay up to date on current events. And since everything the editors of Crab Town know about JD Salinger, we learned from the movie The Good Girl (starring Jennifer Aniston), we figured that instead of finding our own way to cover JD Salinger's death, we would just use the article that our newest writer Mr. Haas put up on his own blog the other day. Why not, right?

Half Hearted: Taking up Ra's Sceptre

"So, now I'm an international sex machine. I'm back on the old 'horse'. I'm back to the old routine a bit older, a bit wiser, and maybe more 'over' those previous loves lost, and utterly confident about my romantic prowess, right? Ha." ...





Leno Sympathizer Boycott

Instead of a boring old Leno or NBC boycott, we are trying to take this wider. But our list is short, so check it out and make some suggestions. We need your help!






Half Hearted: Vestigial Limbs and Snow Globes

Half Hearted is back from its short Winter Holiday break with more surprises and suspense. What has Cameron been doing for his holiday? Does he have any New Year's resolutions? Why the weird title? Find out the answers by clicking that "Read More" link below.




10 Movies of the 2000s

Choosing the best ten movies of the decade takes a lot of time, consideration, and research. No one at Crab Town felt like doing that. But our newest writer, Warren Haas, made his list of ten movies that he quite liked this decade. Will you agree or disagree with his choices? Only one way to find out.

Oh, and welcome to Crab Town, Warren!


Top Ten Supporting TV Actors of 2009

As promised, Crab Town is kicking off our Top Ten Lists of 2009 at the very last possible second. We don't know how many of these will be put up, but we've already got a couple good ones in our vault, so expect more over the next few days. This first one here is an acknowledgement of those overlooked supporting actors that make us really love television's current renaissance. Of course, if you think he missed one, or was way off on one of his calls, you have the right to disagree in the comments.

Merry Xmas to You

Crab Town, not unlike your city's emergency services, takes no breaks. Not even for Xmas (or whatever holiday you celebrate in its place, for that matter). I guess we take a bit of a break, since all we are putting up is the picture above, and this small bit of text; but, we try our best.

If you get bored, since this article is so small, look back over our previous articles. I'm sure you missed one. And even if you did read them all, leave a comment on one. Let us know what you think. We like that.

Soon we will have some year-end top ten lists for you. Really soon. Also, if you're really bored of our site, you can find out how to make the wreath on the Crab Town office's door (as seen in the picture above) from this blog. Enjoy your family times.

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