Meg and Jeph's Late Reviews: SkinnySongs and More!

We used to write this exact same column for another publication. We were then fired from that publication for... well, we don’t actually know why we were fired, but we do know that we stopped receiving albums to review, and then all communications with that mysterious, unnamed publication ceased. But we still love that publication and wish them the best! And we also hope they don’t sue us, because this column wasn’t really our idea in the first place.... In any case, the fact that we (and our fans) were missing these reviews so much is probably the main reason why Crab Town Magazine was created. So there you go. Here are some reviews:

Various Artists
SkinnySongs

We might be a bit late to discovering this album; but after seeing it featured on CNN (which is always a reliable source for discovering new music), we found ourselves utterly awe-struck. An actual full length album consisting only of inspirational songs designed to encourage overweight, middle-aged women to lose weight, SkinnySongs includes songs, like “Incredible Shrinking Woman,” “Skinny Jeans” and “I’m a Hottie Now”. Besides us, it was also endorsed by Oprah and Martha Stewart. That’s quite the endorsement hat-trick. Best of all, this album is a blend of country, rap and pop, making it literally perfect for the myriad of people we tend to meet on a daily basis that “listen to everything from rap to country.” Listeners are in for an extra special treat with “You Da Boss,” where Crazy Town-esque rapper-extroardinaire, Kaleo Futuristo becomes the personification of what he likes to call “willpow’r,” with rhymes like: “You don’t need that piece of pie/ Gotta let it go and pass you by.” Technically, though, this album is beyond review. Listen to it for yourself on their website: Skinny Songs

Themselves
CrownDown

It’s creepy to think that it was probably over ten years ago that we were teenagers drinking La Fin du Monde in Jeph’s bedroom and listening to Anticon sampler albums when we first heard Themselves, and eventually bought an album. We were actually kind of down on CrownDown until we read the press release. Really! When we read which songs were homages to their idols (Gang Starr, X-Clan, etc...), it really made it seem a little touching that these guys had all these special ideas and themes that they were working with. Still, the only song we actually enjoyed was probably “Roman is as Roman Does”. But you have to admit, it is pretty adorable picturing these guys gushing about their musical heroes and writing little songs about it. Pretty adorable, indeed.

Rammstein
Liebe ist für alle da

Jeph: When talking to Germans who are visiting Canada, I like to spend most of my time talking asking about how popular Rammstein is in Germany. I suggest everyone else do the same. On the other hand, when visiting Germany, a similar conversation is inappropriate. You are now on their home turf. Just assume that everyone you meet is a big Rammstein fan. That’s how I see it.

Meg: My personal favourite topic of discussion with Germans visiting Canada is what it must be like having so many holocaust movies filmed in their hometowns all the time. Like, they finish school, they’re walking home and then all of a sudden they notice that their town has been remade to look like Life is Beautiful Part 2. That must be so weird.

Jeph: Germans love that. Oh, and for those of you that read our columns to decide what albums to buy, if you love Rammstein, you’ll love this album. It sounds just like how their music usually sounds. Rammstein literally translates as “ramming stone”, by the way.

Flight of the Conchords
I Told You I Was Freaky

Jeph: Not only is it kind of silly to review this album (since if you are likely to be interested in this album, you probably already heard all of these songs on the Flight of the Conchords television show), but we also already covered the first season in our old review column. So our old review probably already used up all of our clever dialogue.

Meg: Speak for yourself. I still have plenty of clever dialogue left for this review.

Jeph: Okay. Get on with your funny dialogue.

Meg: Disrespectful. Just for that, I’m saving my dialogue for someone more polite.